Firstly, no matter what you think
and who may have told you otherwise – being over-weight is not your fault! So
stop with the self-sabotage. Believe in your”self”!

We are a combination of
everything that has been in our environment since the time that we came out of
the womb. We are taught how to behave by
our parents. What we don’t understand at
the time is that they can only do what they know how to do eg what they have
been taught by their parents. So if for
example they are undemonstrative and unable to give us a hug, then that is
because they haven’t been taught how to do that. However, as young children we grow up
believing that there is something wrong with us and that we are unlovable in
some way. So we might look to learn
from our siblings, but what we pick up from them is their anxieties and
interpretations that they have put onto their interaction with our parents and
so on and so forth. Being good in order
to please our parents generally included being enticed in some way with sweets
or food – to be good, to behave, to be quiet, or even to go away and play! So we learn that food is associated with love
– albeit not in the way that we need to be loved.

Then we go to school and have to
abide by rules and regulations for fear of something … for me it was the cane!!!! I have “sit still”, “talk when spoken to”,
“don’t be stupid” (it wasn’t very politically correct in my day!) ringing in my
ears. Plus all of my sisters (4 girls – I was the youngest) and I went to the same school, so teachers rarely got
my name right – hence I had identity issues from a very early age. Even now I am very protective of the “e” at
the end of my name and always correct someone if it’s missed off – I take it
very personally!

Then there’s our peers … we
continually compare ourselves to others.
We try to please them and fit in or be accepted in some way. We believe what they say to us along with
everything we read in magazines or see on the TV of how we should look or
behave. In reality comparing ourselves to others actually robs us of our joy!

This judgement goes on throughout
our entire life. If we feel loved and
cared for then generally we become well balanced individuals. If we feel anything other than that, then we
begin to believe that we are unlovable.

As adults we have to start unraveling the guilt, shame, disappointment, unworthiness that may came wrapped up with the love that was bestowed upon us, because all of those negative attributes were about that person and not about us – we were only ever meant to receive the pure love that ran through all of those things.